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Stian will be fucking me up in this, I presume and imagine so—don't you?He is nestled and straightened up before my eyes and face beneath there in an implausibly soaring and steep and elevated chair that looks more of a throne and monarchial stool for an overlord and a His Majesty. Is he? Boo-hoo! He has a regal and sovereign expression about him that makes me wonder to myself in just-the-ideal-thing and faultless silence on whether there lives and has in existence any kink and sexual eccentricity and pervetedness about him. Is there really? Appearances and bearings can be leading astray and misguiding, do not overlook or fail to bring that to mind please!"Stian," I itch and thirst to murmur and rumble under my incessant breath—but then this adhesive and gluey sellotape thing won't green-light me to do so. Du-hhhhh! When is he precisely going to get up on his feet and step over to start and finish this balls-up-ing stew and imbroglio of ours? I cannot keep up and withstand tolerance. For being so drunk, he sure seemed to haul major ass.I grumbled a dozen or so choice curses under my breath, and followedsuit, hopping inside with a single gravity-leap that no human couldduplicate.The thing about modern chimneys most people don't realize is thatalthough the opening atop the roof is wide, they taper down to a muchsmaller hole just big enough to let the smoke out. A mortal, even onewho wasn't a huge fat ass, like Santa, would never have been able to fitthrough. Lucky, for us, neither Santa nor myself were mortals.When I emerged, I found the big man stumbling about and dragging the bagthrough the room while sloshing an open bottle of brandy all over HalMcCain's living room carpet.What the actual fuck? How the hell had he gotten hold of another damnbottle?It hadn't always been like this. In his heyday, Santa had been the jollygift-giver of which the stories all spoke, but ever since he'd walked inon his old lady fucking the hell out of Jack Frost he hadn't been thesame..
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