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The brown ring of Shilpa?sanus flexed again. More farts escaped, but this time they were simply toannounce that something more substantial was on it?sway. Jade watched as the first soft piece of shit burst through thechocolate starfish and hung obscenely, inches from her face. After a fewseconds, the turd released itself and fell across Jades face. The shit wasso soft and sticky, it did not roll off, but clung toher nose and lips. Jade looked up again to see a second, larger piece emerging and tooka breath while she could. More shit followed until the pan was well filled. Jade felt the pressure onthe toilet release as Shilpa stood and looked down.?Quite a load of crap? she laughed before sitting down to complete the businessof wiping her arse clean. ?It?s a shame your tongue won?t reach? she said,dropping wads of used toilet roll on top of the pile of crap. I do miss havinga bidet in the house.? She stood and flushed the toilet for a second time. Thewater carried most of the contents. I know she hunted turtles and seals for instance because she had artefacts made from their shells and skins respectively. I’m also convinced that she was perfectly capable of hunting terrestrial a****ls. She fashioned knife handles from bone and I found among her possessions the horns of a Mouflon; a sort of wild sheep that has been introduced to some Mediterranean islands. She was a true apex predator and feared little in the sea. She had a necklace made of sharks’ teeth around her neck.One sort of a****l that definitely was not on the menu however were dolphins. We had a pod of them that used to visit the island quite often. She was always delighted to see them and she’d rush into the water to play with them; swimming around with them or holding onto their backs. They used to click and chatter with her and she used to respond in the same way. It might be fanciful but she seemed to be able to talk with them. Oh I don’t mean that she could discuss the finer points of geo-politics.
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