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Brewing a pot of coffee, I leaned against the counter wondering what I was going to say to Jeff. I stood there in a daze until the coffee was ready and poured a cup. Sitting at the table, I held the cup with my finger through the handle and shifted it from side to side on the saucer. Many thoughts flooded my mind and when I finally lifted the cup to my lips and took a drink I spit it back into the cup. It was cold!I left the full cup crookedly placed on the saucer and went into the living room, plopping down on the couch. With my elbows digging into my knees, I cradled my face in my hands fretting that I had messed up my life, and my son's life.My eyes popped open and I turned. I was lying on the couch and the slamming front door awoke me. I rolled off the couch and ran to catch up to Jeff. We needed to talk. I was still sleepy, distraught, and out of control, so much so that I collided with him in the hall as I ran around a corner. He stumbled backwards and I bounced off him, landing. He cried like a baby after that. His fingers were trembling way too much to even try to type and send her an email. He would have to call her.She answered the phone, while wiping the sleep from her eyes. She had not slept much last night. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw his piercing blue-eyes. Then she'd call out his name and hug her pillow. Finally, around 5am, she cried herself to sleep. She listened as he poured out his heart. She knew he was hurting as much as she was. She knew in her heart that fate had dealt the final hand and they had lost."Oh Douglas, I could wish that I had met you 30 yrs ago. I would be your first and only wife. There would be no discussions about heartache, lost love, or the future. You know something, one of these days I am going to look fate in the eye. Then say, fuck you, this time fate, you just drew the losing hand. Douglas, I pray that one day you to will find the love, peace, and happiness that you deserve. She told him she needed.
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