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But they appeared to be normal – very cheap, very flexible so that one size fitted all (or almost). It was generally agreed that the answer would come in the clue words. So at 4 o’clock more than 95% of the 378 delegates were assembled as the clue words were read out: ‘Get Her Panties’. Baker Street, PhD, one of the keynote speakers smiled as he saw couples already together link arms jubilantly and congratulate one another for having accomplished their pick-up from whom they could get the panties so easily, now being eligible to win the big prize. Baker knew such contests were never that easy. He had been told he was eligible to enter, and actually had put on his cotton brief, but he decided to go back to the hotel and perhaps take a nap. But in the elevator by error he pressed the button to the rooftop bar. The room was almost empty as it was only early evening. As he was up here, Baker decided to have a drink. He saw a woman about his own age – knocking forty – and went over to. But then, twenty years ago, I met Lucifer. He fucked me sooo hard, and so good. And we made you, Lucinda. Born of our love.”“But,” Venus continued, “for twenty years, your father has made my job so difficult. Because every time I make two people hunger for each other, as soon as they fuck, he sends them howling into hell. Your grandfather’s No Rings rule. I’m getting tired of fighting the family to do my job, to spread sexual joy.“So I’m going to retire. I’m tired. Three thousand years of this job is long enough. I want you two to take over spreading love and sexual joy.”“But mom, won’t we just be fruitlessly battling daddy, just like you did?”“No. Your ring loophole, with those beer-can tabs, caused your grandpa to scrap his No Rings, No Sex rule. No more hell for pre-marital sex. And now that you two love each other, as proven by your matching heart-shaped tails, and you have such joyous sex together, you can lead by example. You are the perfect couple to take over my job. Good.
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