Ontheir way out of the basement, Helen said, "Thank you again for what youdid for me. You show so much strength by touching into your feminineside to help me when I needed it. You doing this helps me in becomingthe person you see me as. I never want you to think that it is a weakness to need to dress therole to be able to do so. We will work on you being able to betterexpress your feeling verbally all the time for you want to. Even whenthat happens you can do anything which you put your mind to, if youstill want to let Marci out, I want you to. I also want you to let herout with me only as Helen sometimes."Helen's reassurance to Marci helped her start the switch back to beingDoug. It eased that transition by getting rid of his self doubts abouthimself for having to dress. Doug said, "I am going to get ready so mywonderful wife can have a great looking man to escort her to thewedding."Helen was happy to see her/him doing so well with the little bit ofaftercare she worked on her. Comforting one another. I again reached up simply to embrace, to hold, and again came into contact with her breast, only now resting my head upon it as though it were a pillow. I think I actually fell asleep like that. My head on her breast, the other holding and cupping it just like it was a comforting pillow to me. I don't remember her taking my hand away from it that time.Over the years, especially when I finally discovered the joys of masturbation, that distant memory of doing that would come racing back. But interestingly enough, each time that it did, each year that I grew, that image of me sitting there, holding mom like that, had me at whatever age I currently was at. Not as that of the little girl I certainly once was back then.I never failed to have multiple orgasms thinking about that, fantasizing. But I also never failed to have the worst guilt ever afterwards either. It had gotten to the point that I fought against the urge to even do so, eventually relenting of course.
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