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All well adjusted and happy. Why is that?" Maybe because I never loved her in the first place." What? You never loved her? Then why did you marry her?" It seemed the thing to do at the time. She was madly and passionately in love with me. She really was and she wanted us to get married. While I didn't love her in the same way, I did care for her and thought I could grow to love her, with time. So, I proposed, just like she wanted me to, and we got married." So what happened?" Honestly? I knew before the honeymoon was over that it wouldn't last. I think the whole situation was my fault in some ways. Because of things I didn't see, didn't really notice until after we were married. Her love for me was all puppy dog eyes, heat and passion. It was kind of a reverse pedestal situation. Usually it is a guy that puts a woman on a pedestal and doesn't see her for who she really is until he wakes up and looks correctly. Well with her, I think I was the one on the pedestal - for some unknown. Perhaps all of the stress over the last year has finally taken its toll and I’ve snapped. Maybe I forget small details like leaving the mouthwash out or packing a suitcase and leaving it at the foot of my bed. But why? Why are the things that seem to manifest out of nowhere in my reality tied to the horrors of my dreams? Drifting back toward a sleep deprived unconsciousness, my last thought was I’ll be sure to call someone for professional help in the morning. Surely someone might be able to tell me if I’m losing my mind and possibly existing in periods of fugue states. He’s chasing me again. I can feel the hairs on the back of my neck warning me of danger. I’m running through Union Park in Des Moines, Iowa toward the Heritage Carousel. Maybe there will be a Good Samaritan there who can help me. I can see there are people everywhere. Parents and grandparents were standing with their children and grandchildren waiting for a chance to pay their 50 cents for a ride on the.
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