He dismissed me by saying, "Michael you may go to your room now." Itactually sounded in my head as if he had said I'm finished talkingnow so get the fuck out of my face. Except for two things, his voicewas always mellow and his words were never curse words. And based onwhat he had said my role would be I realized my only release would bethis blog. Gosh, I have to throw up.July 14, 2006: evening blog.So, I've gotten pretty good at walking in high heels and served himdinner tonight without an accident. I may hate this but it isdefinitely better than going to jail. I'll try doing what he wantsand hope for the best. After dinner I went to the kitchen to get his coffee. When I cameback into the living room, looking ridiculous in my ankle socks andhigh heels with a white and pink apron tied around my waist, he wassitting there smiling. I carried his coffee on a small tray. Anotherannoyance he had requested I use when dinner was finished.He said, "It will be nicer if you bring my coffee on a. THIS IS WHAT SHE DESERVES: Here's what I want to do with her, and will do it if she ever crosses my path: There's a vacant former mental asylum near where I live---been unused for over 20 years, sitting on the real estate market. I have some good prescription d**gs I have to take for my PTSD: anti anxiety meds, bipolar meds---they get me through my day, but would turn someone who never developed a tolerance to them into a drooling zombie, She would end up eating a lot of them in a powerful cocktail I would get her to drink---I could grind them up, dissolve them with sugar syrup and mix them in a drink with grain alcohol. She wouldn't taste them. Totally zonked out. I could get her into my car and slip on hand cuffs lined with felt tape(she won't feel them going on, even if she wasn't so stoned), and leg cuffs around her ankles(also lined with felt tape), over her socks. It's a short drive to the vacant asylum-she is so d**gged out-Just to be sure she doesn't snap out it, I have.
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