Screw clothesWithout any real relationships, I was constrained to my own sensuality and imagination. At a certain point in my life, I began staying up or getting up again late at night to dance naked in my room to a stereo turned quiet enough so that I was the only one in the house to hear it. I would listen to techno music and gyrate as the music commanded. I would listen to the midnight radio show where the DJ answered call-in questions about sexuality. I even told one of the boys from that chemistry class that I spent time naked on the gently sloped roof outside my bedroom window looking at the misty covered forests beyond. Some nights I simply played soft jazz ballads and lay on my bed with my imagination and my own determined hands. Inside my head was a spinning wheel of men (and very few women) that would visit my dreams. I imagined adult versions of someone from my previous school and orchestrated in my head a hypothetical meet up after graduation. I saw my current. Their one-bedroom suite faced the lake water and was very homey – a small living room with television, sofa, chair; a luxurious bathroom; and a warm bedroom that seemed ultra-quiet. The view of the lake was beautiful and peaceful.They opted for dinner at a Tex-Mex place called Bubba’s, walking to the place instead of firing up the motorcycle again. They window shopped at a few of the small shops that lined the waterfront on the shores of a bay that made up part of Lake Michigan.Alice asked him over dinner, “So, what about your new career?”Dave broke out laughing, “What singing? I don’t believe it. I never even sang in the shower, let alone what just happened in St. Louis. This stuff is Ashley’s doing, and was never a fantasy of mine – not even when Road Trip became so popular. I liked the character Jim Mellon in Cricket’s book, but I never identified with him.”“Will you ride this wave for a while?”Dave shrugged, “It is kind of fun. I’ve always liked country music, but being a star in.
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