‘Then,’ she said, ‘when Tom fucks me, he will put this long thing into my-cunt-do you call it? But it seems so big, I fear it must hurt me. Even my dear companion Marguerite has sometimes hurt me when she has attempted to get more than one finger in when… frigging me, as you call it.’I told her there would be no great difficulty if she had already had a finger thrust up as far as it would go, and that the exquisite delight that followed would more than compensate for the pain of entrance.Of course, I told her how her photograph had excited Tom, and I also confessed to the lover’s part I had taken on the occasion.‘Oh! My dear fellow!’ she said. ‘You dear sweet fellow! How I should like to have done it for him-that is to say, if we really, really must not be together as if we were married.’‘My dear Louisa,’ I replied, ‘there is but one objection, but that is fatal to your wish; you would be certain to have a child, and would be utterly ruined. But next month, during the university. It was me who had done something wrong. It was me who feel in love with my brother, making it impossible for me to love any other man. No matter how many men I dated, none of them every compared to Henry, which is why all of my relationships have failed. So I guess in the end, it was me who was stupid for loving a man that didn’t love me back with equal amounts. “I am not mad at you,” I said as tears began to quickly make their way down my cheeks. I was so angry at myself for crying, but I could not hold them in. My heart was broken and I could not fight my body’s need to let go of some of the pain. “I am mad at ....” I could not even tell him why I was mad. He would try to make me feel better and I knew that no matter what he did, I would not feel better. In the end of it all, he was going to get married tomorrow and I was going to go back home to ... nothing. Just another day in the life of me, I suppose. “Mad at what,” he asked me, genuinely curious as to what I was mad at. “Come.
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