" She smiled and then critiqued a few others by name also. On the whole, she was positive for all of us.When the class was over, I left for math without a word to Karen. We had a pop quiz in math that I aced. I was in a better mood as I thought about lunch. Entering the dining hall, I saw Charlie but ignored him. I put food on my tray, paid, and found a seat in a corner by myself. I had only been there moments when Karen and Nicki sat, one on each side of me. Karen had a tray but Nicki did not. Nicki said, "Brad, I apologize to you for my words. I didn't mean to cause tragedy for you and Karen. I've listened to her talk about you for months. Please give her another chance. Hate me. I deserve it."I swallowed the bite in my mouth. "Nicki, I don't hate anyone. I'm disappointed in our roommates who would sabotage a relationship that each of you knew we had wanted. But that's okay. I learned a harsh lesson this morning about trust." I turned back to my food and ate without looking up.. I wouldn’t have consciously wished the break-up on him but I have to confess I had been pleased to learn that Cindy wouldn’t be on the scene during my last summer holiday before University. To be honest, my own sexual history was no more exciting. Despite the best efforts of the depressingly small number of boys who had asked me out, I remained a virgin at eighteen. Perhaps I had an unrealistic view of relationships; given all that has happened since, perhaps I still have. Although I hadn’t expected to ‘save myself’ for my husband as my mother had apparently done, I was determined that my first time in bed with a boy must mean a lot more than a clumsy fumble, a messy penetration and a lot of untrue stories circulating in school afterwards as had happened to so many of my friends. I wasn’t afraid of sex; I certainly wasn’t a frigid lesbian as one on my more unkind would-be lovers had suggested, I just wanted my first time to be at the right time with the right boy. It was just that.
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