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We have a tradition round here that certain neighbours have always had little drinks parties at different times of the year. These are the people that have lived here forever - well since the houses on this road were built thirty years ago anyway. They know everybody and everything, yet they do it without being nasty. We felt honoured to be involved right from the start when we moved in. Yet even they didn't know much about the widow. She kept herself to herself, there wasn't even gossip, you know - she's a dyke or whatever. She just kept her own council as they say in these parts.We met socially very occasionally - I must admit my wife and I liked her, she was very pleasant company. She's a 'toucher.' Our family, on both sides, have always been 'touchers' as well - we'll put an arm around someone when we meet, touch their arm as we talk, often brush cheeks as we greet. I don't know why - I guess it's not everyone's bag, but we just do it. We get more positive responses than negative. ”“Well dear it would help our public image if we had a commoner as a daughter in law,” Armin’s mother suggested to the king,”King Harald was staring at Sinders boobies at the time, “Yes dear, well you can’t get much commoner than a whore.”“What about the war?” Meghan’s mother demanded, “What about the marriage?”“Bit short of the folding old bean,” King Harald suggested, “How about we reschedule for 1914?”“Oh very well, late August after the Grouse shooting season would suit us.” Meghan’s mother suggested.“Sounds good, so Armin gets married this year, Meghan next year?” King Harald suggested.“Who to?” Meghan asked.“Plenty of big lusty chaps on death row,” Meghan’s father suggested.“We tried that and they preferred....” Meghan reminded him.“Maybe you could marry a Horse?” he tried.“Oh get stuffed daddy!” Meghan snapped, “Just as long as I can be chief bridesmaid then Armin can marry who the hell he wants!”“Look I don’t want to marry Sinders!” Armin protested.“Shut it, you screwed it you.
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