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"Mr. H, do you think I am pretty?" Jen asked in a halting voice."Good God, Jen! You are an incredibly beautiful woman!" I blurted. My sincerity could not have been doubted.She gave me a half smile and asked, "Do you really, truly thing so? Am I as beautiful as Veronica?"That was a trap women of all ages have set for men since the beginning of time. It was one of those 'yes or no questions' that a man should never answer with a 'yes' or 'no'. I had been married for 20 years and easily recognized the dangers of a one-word answer. I also knew that voting in Baghdad was safer than being with a near naked 18 year-old girl. I had to be very careful."Jen, I never knew Veronica when she was your age, but I think she must have looked very much like you do right now," I waffled. "You are both exquisite women and a pleasure to gaze upon." Do you think my breasts are as nice as Veronica's?" Jen persisted.I stood and placed my hands on her arms. I knew I had to bring this situation to a rapid. I really couldn't understand how this imbecile had got to where he was. He wouldn't have got past the Navy selection board.He continued. "I have been authorised to make an ex gratia payment for your inconvenience. Our solicitor, Mr Chambers has the details, and some documents for you to sign. This would, of course all be confidential and without prejudice." He smiled expansively, confident in a job well done. Chambers brought the documents and placed them in front of me, proffering his pen.Milla went to speak. I put my hand to her arm to stop her. I wanted this moment. I let the papers lie unread."So if I had hit Constable Graham would you be having a nice little chat with me about paying her a couple of thousand pounds, then we'll all forget about it? Or would you be all over the papers and television ranting on about assaults on police officers, and demanding I be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law? You think you can buy my silence for less than I can make in a day? Tell.
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