I wan’ you to take-a my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me.” “But grandpa, I really don’t like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?” “You lissina me, boy! Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos. Then one-a day you gonna comea home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, ‘Times up!’”A woman and her 12-year-old son were riding in a taxi in Detroit. It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under awnings. “Mom,” said the boy, “what are all those women doing?” “They’re waiting for their husbands to get off work,” she replied. The taxi driver turns around and says, “Geez lady, why don’t you tell him the truth? They’re hookers, boy! They have sex with men for money.” The little boy’s eyes get wide and he says, “Is that true Mom?” His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers. The night after our one night stand, she had gotten engaged to a History professor twenty years her senior, Gerd Trotska. I think she made an effort to be faithful to him. I saw her a lot: she attended all of the faculty functions. I even escorted her to two or three of them over the years at Gerd's request. And then it happened again.Gerd had come home for lunch unexpectedly. He caught her in bed—with his sister! He went insane with rage throwing things, screaming at her—at both of them "queer-assed bitch, pig, whore, asshole—the list of epithets was long. Finally, someone, a neighbor, called the cops. No one was hurt. But, the cops hauled Gerd downtown to let him cool off. He was out the next day when Lana came down to bail him out. His gratitude was limited however; he divorced her less than two weeks after the fiasco with his sister.After the divorce was final, Lana laid low for a while. As far as I could tell she wasn't banging anybody and kinda disappeared from the local social.
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