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Much of it was on my account after all.I wanted her to know what I could not tell her. I wanted her to hear the words I could not say. I wanted her to understand that I forgave her for not wanting me, for accepting me as the consequence of a mistake made years earlier. I knew all about the consequences of mistakes. I tried to think of something I could say to her that would ease her pain, but anything that would not make it worse would only be like bailing the ocean with a teaspoon. So before she bolted, I said the only thing I could think of, as lame as it was."Thank you." I said. Her face was so screwed up that I could not read anything in it, so I could not tell if it helped any or not. She ran off to her room and shut herself in. I could hear the sobs even through the closed door. I never thought that I would be sitting in the kitchen, listening to my mother crying her eyes out and think of it as a good thing. Sometimes bad things are really good things. Sometimes our worst. Suddenly, her eyes widened as she realised her step-brother was naked in her bed. ‘Oh Drew, last night…’ She murmured, sounding fearful. ‘What about it’, I said softly, reaching down and brushing the back of my hand against her neck softly. ‘I feel strange… I… I don’t know, we shouldn’t be doing this I don’t think Drew, it’s so…’ ‘So what?’ I said, becoming upset that she felt this way. I didn’t think she would regret what had happened in the morning but I was beginning to doubt that. She looked up at me, her blue eyes confused and bewildered. I pushed my body over hers so I was on-top of her, and kissed her breasts, I wanted to reassure her that it wasn’t just a one-night fuck because we were home alone together – it really meant something. She lay there looking at the ceiling, rambling on about how embarrassed she was and how she felt like such a slut. She said she’d never had sex before, she said she’d always resisted even though she had always wanted it, but she wasn’t sure if.
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