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Pain in relationships can be perversely comfortable pain, in that is one we know. We’re used to it. I once heard a tape by Ram Dass, an American spiritual teacher, in which he told of seeing a newspaper article about an abused baby being taken away from his mother. As a police matron tried to take the baby, he kept struggling to remain in his mother’s arms. Although his mother was the one who beat him, she was the one he knew. He was used to her. He wanted to remain in familiar territory.This story illustrates our relationship to our own egos. The ego is our pain, but it is what we know, and we resist moving out of it. The effort it takes to grow out of painful patterns often feels more uncomfortable than remaining within them. Personal growth can be painful, because it can make us feel ashamed and humiliated to face our own darkness. But the goal of personal growth is the journey out of dark emotional patterns that cause us pain, to those that create peace. Psychotherapy: Purpose. You feeling ok?"Jessica looked at me and we gave each other a slight grin. I hadn't told John about the little game Jessica and I had just played. "I'm fine John. I have a chill. The AC is on high and it's cold in the house." Whatever you say mom. Ant, you wanna go catch a movie with Josie and me?" Nah man, you guys go. I'm gonna stay in tonight." What the hell is wrong with you? Vanessa and her boyfriend are gonna meet us. Then we are going to hang out a Jimmy's house."Jimmy was another close friend of ours. Normally, I would have said yes, but I wanted to spend more time with Jessica. I had the urge to be around her, any chance that I got and I had a cool vibe with her that day. "I'm not in the mood. I'm not feeling so hot right now. I'm going to take a nap and if I feel better later, I'll catch up with you guys." Alright bro. Feel better."John and Josie got up from the table. John kissed Jessica on the cheek and they left. Jessica walked over to me, bent over and placed her hand.
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