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“Well, go and wash yer hands then - I only want a ham sandwich”.Three hillbillies were sitting on the porch. The first hillbilly said “My wife is so dumb, yesterday she dragged home a brand new washer and dryer, and we ain’t even got electricity!” The second hillbilly said “My wife is stupider than yers, yesterday she brings home a new dishwasher, and we ain’t even got runnin’ water!” The third hillbilly said “My wife is even stupider! Yesterday I was in the kitchen and I saw her purse on the table. Everything was spilled out of it and there was a bunch of rubbers layin’ there ... and she ain’t even got a dick!”At a wedding party recently someone yelled “All the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living”. The bartender was nearly crushed to death.I heard a story about a guy who got a call from his doctor the day after a visit. From what I gathered, the doctor says “I hate to tell you this, but I have bad news and worse news”. Dude asks what. You would wear what you were instructed to wear, clothes that would be inappropriatefor the weather and that might turn a head. Jeans, tights, a blouse cut a little lowand short on the sleeve so that the skin on your arms would goosebump when you slippedyour coat off, heels that cause you to stumble.You would remove the coat and sit, ordering the drink that you had been instructed toorder. You might have been instructed to slip to the bathroom after five minutes toremove the jeans and swap them for a short skirt, confirming who you are and making mesmile. Perhaps some others in the shop might notice. Perhaps not.After ten minutes you would go to the bathroom as instructed again, this time removingthe tights, returning to looks from customers of amused bewilderment at why on earthyou would be losing your tights in the middle of winter in a bookshop. The suppressedgiggle, the muttering. That soft stroke of humiliation as you wait, anticipating whatis to follow. The whispered chuckles of.
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