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Canadian officials are particularly concerned about American smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, promising them that they will be delivered to safe haven in Canada. They pack them into electric cars and drive them across the border where they are simply left to fend for themselves after the batteries die. “A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions,” an Ontario border patrolman said. “I found one carload without a single bottle of Perrier drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley Cabernet, though, and some kale chips, but they wouldn’t share.”When liberals are caught, they’re sent back across the border, often wailing loudly fearing retribution from conservatives, who will make them work instead of providing entitlements. Rumors have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and study the Constitution.In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious. However, it was the only present that I got for my16th birthday nearly two weeks earlier. In fact, it had been the firstreal present that I'd been given in several years. The sweater had been a present from my parents... my fosterparents. I'd been living with these ones for nearly a year now and theyweren't too bad. In fact, they were certainly better than most of thepeople that I'd lived in the past. I wasn't exactly one of the family,but they were pretty nice to me. With a deep sigh, I thought about my own family, though I usuallytried not to. I'd lost my folks in a car crash when I was only 9 andhad been forced to live in the state foster care system every since.I'd spent 6 years, living with strangers, most of whom didn't care theleast about me. I was just a way to get a few extra dollars from thestate or at best, a means to for them to fulfill their socialresponsibility and feel good about themselves. My name is Jake Scott and I was a pretty decent looking guy, if Ido say so.
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