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Moira and Gary were off with Malia's brother, checking out something. Malia hadn't wanted to go with them, and I'd wanted to be with Malia, so I stayed behind too. Malia was showing me how to make leis; how to chose the flowers and string them on the thread. She was really fast at it, and her leis always came out perfect. Somehow, she knew exactly which flower to pick up next to fit with the one before. Mine came out kind of, I don't know, lumpy."You said you wanted to get off Maui?" I asked her to change the subject."I do," she replied emphatically. "Not for forever, but I want to get away from leis for a while." Maybe you could come with us. Joanne is leaving the ship in Fiji – she's going to San Diego to get married – so there's going to be an empty room."Malia's hands froze, and she looked at me."But you don't do anything, do you? I mean, you just sail around, eating good food, and partying, and having sex, right?" Well, I guess we go on hikes and tours and birdwatching and stuff. We got fairly tipsy after that and sometimes drew the beautiful bartender into our conversation. That made me even hornier. As the night went on, the older guy was so charming and nice that I began to think about boat sex and whether I would end up there with him. But it was getting late and I had to go. He insisted on paying my bill. See, what a gentleman!When we walked outside, an Uber was waiting for him. He said he’d take me out on his boat but he was only here for another day or two. We exchanged phone numbers and I told him I’d text him soon. I walked home thinking about boat sex.By the time I got home, I was very horny and decided to text him.Me: Hey, Captain DavidCD: Hello, is this my oyster friend?Me: Yes, it is captainCD: Well, helloMe: Whatcha doing, Captain David?CD: On my boat with scotch thinking about you Me: Oh, really, Captain David?CD: Yes and you can just call me Captain. What you doing?Me: I’m drunk and thinking about my CaptainCD: I wish you were here. Why don’t.
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