I know she's old and from anothergeneration, but I think you are underestimating her. I think that notonly will she understand, but she will be happy. Happy that you'resharing with her; happy that there is still this side of you; and happythat you have someone who understands and is helping you." "OK," I said. "Let's do it." You smiled and said, "First, your nails." As you started painting mynails the same pale pink shade as yours (Ballet Slippers), the reality ofwhat we were about to do started hitting me. You could see I was gettingnervous and said, "Shh, Princess. Trust me. Everything will be ok."We drove out to Long Island and got to my mother's apartment. Even at 88,she looked fabulous, perfectly put together with her makeup impeccable.One glance from you to me told me that you saw everything - that youcould only imagine what she looked like 50 years ago when I was animpressionable young boy.We walked in and Mother gave me a hug and a kiss, that funny, ambiguouskiss of. And this was as infinite a fall as there can possibly be, for in his determination to reach the most unreachable places of her soul, the falling man recognized no bounds or limitations. The only thing he recognized was that the value of her soul was equal to, if not greater than, the efforts necessary to uncover it. And he was willing to put forth great effort, not because he wanted to claim such a thing for himself, but because that was the greatest gift which he could ever conceive of presenting to her. It became self-perpetuating on some levels, for the more of her soul he uncovered, the more he fell in love with her and hungered to clear away the dust that partially obscured its luminescence. And as he fell, he began to realize the strange geometries and abstract physics of love, for while falling represents a descent, to this man there was no higher pinnacle in his life than those times at which he had fallen the hardest. The fall was continuous, unstoppable even if he wished.
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