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There are aspects of your marital difficulties that are similar to what happens when a wife has an affair – which, in fact, she is having. The difference is that, while you are experiencing feelings of betrayal, all of this occurred with your tacit consent and even with your encouragement – at least at first.” “The fact is that it takes two strong people to make a strong marriage and only the strongest of marriages can survive a swinging lifestyle if indeed swinging is what you and your wife wish to continue. And, at the moment, you are not strong. I doubt if your wife is either because it seems that she experienced strong feelings of betrayal when she thought you were ‘pimping her out,’ as it were. Also, that she was doing things that went against her grain so to speak and then turned around nearly completely by Donald’s courtship of her, suggests that she was very lonely.” “There is a term we use in psychiatric circles called ‘cognitive dissonance.’ You might call it conscience. He moved his hand and pushed it down inside my uniform skirt and knickers. He quickly found my pussy and started to enter me with his fingers. I hesitated for a moment, but simply wasn't ready to go this far yet so I pushed him away. It had been too much too soon, and I’d shunned and approaches from boys after that. Nevertheless, it didn’t stop me thinking about physical contact, intimacy, sexual activity. The thought turned me on massively. I frequently got aroused as I thought these thoughts…my nipples would swell, almost painfully, and I’d feel my vagina getting wet. I’d address these episodes of arousal with desperate masturbation in bed or on the floor of my bedroom. I would orgasm easily but very intensely to the point that I’d go dizzy and my thighs and legs would tingle or even go numb as I went over the top. Sometimes it was just my fingers, but I also used improvised sex aids such as a hairbrush handle or even a banana. The sessions were daily as a rule – maybe even twice.
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