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.." I was, interrupted."Oh, so you had long hair when you were a man. I like men with long hair," she interjected."In that case, you wouldn't have liked me. I was bald," I'm sure my lower lip stuck out a mile."Oh, sorry. So that's when you knew something was wrong?" she continued for me."I'm actually surprised at how long it took me to notice. I noticed the shaving kit getting bigger, and the counter top coming closer, and I brushed the hair out of the way a couple of times, before it dawned on me that it shouldn't be there. Then I turned around looking for whoever dropped the wig on me, thinking it was a joke. Nobody was there, so I tried to pull it off," I paused to catch my breath."I'll bet that hurt!" she commiserated."Worse than I remembered. I had to get a look at myself so I turned back and looked in the mirror and at first, I thought it was a window into the next room and I was peeking in on a pretty girl in the bathroom..." she interrupted again."So you tried even harder to. No one is actually looking at me. Why is no one looking at me?? Am I not attractive to lesbians? F*ck, here comes someone. La di da, don’t mind me, I’m just looking at my cell phone, checking all my text messages from all my hot lady suitors… Okay, phew. They passed.”This went on for an hour. I literally sat there, surrounded by sexy women and fun music, staring at a blank cell phone screen. It was getting late. The bar was going to close in 45 minutes. Suddenly, something clicked in me. I stood up, mumbled “F*ck it” under my breath, and walked into the crowd of dancing lesbians.Do you know how awkward it is to dance by yourself amidst a crowd of people all dancing in couples or groups? I’m pretty sure it’s up there in my nightmares with showing up naked to middle school and my teeth falling out of my face. But nevertheless, I started dancing. And then I saw her. I had never seen a real boi before, and this one was all abs in a sports bra and cargo shorts. She looked like she was.
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