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Medical Redneck Term DefintionArtery: The study of paintingsBacteria: Back door to cafeteriaBarium: What doctors do when patients dieBenign: What you be, after you be eightCaesarean: A neighborhood in Section RomeCat scan: Searching for kittyCauterize: Made eye contact with herColic: A sheep dogComa: a punctuation markDilate: To live longEnema: Not a friendFester: Quicker that Someone elseFibula: A small lie Impotent Distinguished well KnownLabor Pain: getting hurt at WorkMedical Staff: A Dr.’s caneMorbid: Higher offerNitrates: Higher rates of pay for working nights rather than daysNode: I knew itOutpatient: a person who has faintedPost Operative: A letter carrierRecovery Room: a place to do UpholsteryRectum: Nearly killed himSecretion: Hiding somethingSeizure: A roman emperorTerminal Illness: Getting sick at AirportTumor: one plus one moreUrine: Opposite of you’re outThe following is compliments of smokeyjoeAllegedly, while taxiing at London Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air. “I see now. I won’t shoot you for that you silly man,” she said, staring at the offending lump ... which apparently wasn’t nearly as offending as Peter had thought it would be.Peter finally got a breath of air in and rolled over onto his side, lying there and just breathing for a minute.“You’re kind of clumsy, aren’t you?” said the girl maddeningly.He had never felt so embarrassed in his whole life. He didn’t know what to say, so he just lay there and concentrated on breathing.“Does it hurt?” she asked.He looked up at her. “Of course it hurts. You don’t fall off a horse and it not hurt,” he said, his voice wounded.“I don’t mean that,” she giggled again. “I mean that.” She pointed the rifle at his privates.He flinched and covered his groin with both hands.“Oops,” she giggled again and moved the rifle.“Sorry. I’m not going to shoot you, honest. So ... does it hurt when it’s ... like that?”He looked at her again, not knowing if she was making fun of him or not. She didn’t sound like it..
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