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Going back to the closet, he also finds a narrow leather belt with no decorations. Then he peeks into her bedside drawers and finds exactly what he thought he would fairly quickly… a fairly thick, if not too long, vibrating dildo. He grins to himself as he wonders if every girl in the world keeps those in the same place. Figuring he had all he needed, he returns his attention to the bound and silent girl on the bed. Listening to him rummage around her room, Rachels stomach felt twisted up in knots. What else could he possibly do to her, she wondered… and decided maybe it was better she didnt know. It was hard to get a grasp on her feelings anymore. She was so confused… even as her stomach trembled in fear she could feel her pussy getting wetter in anticipation, and her skin seemed hypersensitive. Every puff of air across it felt almost like a caress. Her face flushed with embarrassment when she heard him open that drawer, then wonders at herself… why does she care if her attacker…. She has been mistreated by her husband in the relationship since marriage. His death is for the best for her. She felt relief that he is dead and can't hurt now. She felt better, calmer and Safer and happy.She thought, 'I wasn’t good at being assertive, so his selfish, inconsiderate domination walked all over me. I was a living doormat. It’s not easy being a living doormat. Anyone woman who has attempted to survive such an existence will agree. I was resentful, exhausted, used up, abused and wounded. I did not feel loved. At the same time, I knew he needed me in his life because of my salary. I was used and abused. I've never been happier since my husband died.' Being a widow is good for her because there is no suffering and less stress after her husband died and free to live her life as she wants. She was thinking how best to use her newly acquired freedom. She accepted condolences from friends and relatives calmly. Since her happiness is socially unacceptable, she masked her.
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