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”Lexus LS400A woman bought a new Lexus LS 400. She returned it to the dealer the next day, complaining that she couldn’t figure out how the radio worked. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.“Watch this!” he said... “Nelson!”The radio replied, “Ricky or Willie?”“Willie!” he continued, and “On The Road Again” came from the speakers.The woman drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time she’d say, “Beethoven”, she’d get beautiful classical music, and if she said, “Beatles!” she’d get one of their awesome songs.One day, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed her new car, but she swerved in time to avoid them.“ASSHOLES!” she yelled... The French National Anthem began to play.Subject: Low oil?Now why didn’t I think of this before now?????A lot of folks can’t understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in America.Well, there’s a very simple answer.Nobody bothered to check the oil.We just didn’t know we were getting low.The reason for that is. It took a while, and it needed a degree of feigned insouciance in the face of suggestive comments from his friends, but Harry’s determined charm eventually beguiled Mandy. Getting into her knickers required more patience. Certainly, Mandy was no prude, not averse to a fumble and a feel in the Rugby Club car park after dark. The savings he had splashed on an elderly saloon seemed amply justified. Mandy had no qualms about making her tits available, nor did her knees clenched shut when Harry explored under her skirt. The wetness he encountered at the top of her thighs emboldened him to open his zip and encourage reciprocation. This resulted in an unfortunately premature conclusion and a stain on Mandy’s skirt she had to conceal as best she could on her return home. Harry apologised, asked Mandy to take it as a compliment to her allure, and the embarrassment passed. But the experiment wasn’t repeated. Several frustrated weeks passed before an opportunity presented itself: Harry’s.
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