To the back of the shop was a small glass counter, within which nestled daggers of equally diverse design."Can I help you?" came an unexpected voice from the gloom behind the counter."I hope so," Nemi answered as she watched a small, shaven-headed man emerge from the shadows, clay pipe in hand. Dressed in the leathers of his trade, he looked more like an arms maker than an arms dealer, prompting Nemi to wonder how real the more extraordinary of the blades on display really were."Hah! You 'hope'? Why not come here first?" the man asked, his tone speaking of how Nemi was not the first or the last to come to his shop only when they had failed to find what they sought in all the other shops of the Sword Quarter. He was also, by his tone, unoffended, perhaps resigned to the accident of geography that placed his shop where it was."Er... ?" Xan," the curious stranger confirmed."Xan? Xan, I'm, I'm looking for something to replace this," Nemi said, grasping the hilt of her sword in. In my case the ultimate cause of this masochism was inadequate fathering.My dad was an iron worker and I remember him mostly being too tired to doanything with us boys (except, significantly, the occasional spanking). Somany of the skills I needed to function socially as a boy (i.e. learn tothrow a ball, learn to ride a bike) I had to do the best I could on my own.When a cousin or a pal would help me learn these things, I would end uphaving a crush on him (what I really needed was a dad). Since spankingswere one type of interaction my dad did do, I ended up making this powerdisplay a central theme in my adult fantasy life. I thought that somehow,if my dad really whipped me hard (which he never did) it would somehow"make a man out of me."In the early sixties it was still common for dads to whip their sons inworking-class neighborhoods. I remember hearing a k** down the streetreally "getting it" from his dad, on more than one occasion, who used arazor strop on his boys out in the.
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