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In 1999 the ladies of the Rylstone branch decided to make a nude calendar for charity. Rylstone is a very rural part of Yorkshire – not the kind of place you associate with controversy. The ladies hoped to make a few hundred pounds for a charilty from their enterprise. The calendar sold all over the world in large numbers. The story was made into a film and a stage play. Recently it has been made into a musicalThe writer has a healthy respect for the Women’s Institute and in no way would wish to denigrate that fine organisation.The following is a tongue-in-cheek story inspired by The Calendar Girls:‘And now ladies, I will announce the results of the home made preserves contest: In third place was Mrs Patterson’s beetroot chutney. The second prize goes to Mrs Hamilton-Smythe with her celery and walnut conserve. The first prize once again is taken by the Reverend Betty Finch with her delicious damson jam.’A ripple of applause rang round the Widebotham village hall.The chairman, Mrs. George had been on later trains before, but it was still very late, even in his experience.Fortunately, Amtrak took the opportunity to get a third F40 and an additional P40 to Salt Lake City, which meant that the Desert Wind and California Zephyr would not be limping past Salt Lake City. The most glowing estimates suggested they would get to Los Angeles around three in the morning, and Emeryville around five in the morning. There were some passengers who were getting very upset with the way the trip had been progressing, but only a surprisingly small percentage of them.All the news about the lateness had caused the increasingly bored passengers to congregate in the Sightseer Lounge. An obliging conductor had rigged the PA system in the Lounge car into an audio player and to work only in the Lounge, and a Karaoke contest had developed on the upper deck of the Sightseer. Some older black woman was currently doing a good job of singing along to one of George’s favorites: Take The ‘A’.
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