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He was older, bigger and richer, always the one who started activities, he had to laugh about me reading my youth away; and when i was ‘baptized’ at the scouts, he joined the other boys who called me a ‘faggot’ ‘wussy’ ‘pussy’ and ‘girlyboy’. We later talked about that moment, traumatic for me, as I’d seen him as my hero savior who’d betrayed me to be more of a champion in the peer group. Forty years later, his parents have died and mine are at their life’s end. He indeed is a regional champ, while I’m gone and mostly, forgotten. It didn’t matter at all. In certain places in cooler parts of the world then the Netherlands, I’m sort of a hero, so I don’t really care what the calvinists think. It’s a relief for us both to be at this point in life where the opinions of others don’t decide our directions, like our parents have done for a long time. We’re happy that we can have such good sex with each other, something that was completely unimaginable when we were teens, telling jokes about. ”“And if I decide to call your bluff?”I just shrugged and didn’t say anything. She gave me a long hard stare, like she was trying to see if I would give away some hint that I didn’t have the balls to follow through on my threats. With an angry shake of her head, she walked away. It wasn’t clear what she’d decided. I still thought my mom was a complete slut, but now that wasn’t as angry about it, I couldn’t say if I was bluffing or if I would really show my dad the pictures. When I thought about it, my life would probably get just as messed up as Mom’s if they ended up getting divorced. There had to be a limit to how far I could push this thing, but there was no way of me knowing where the line was. It would be better for me to stop too early, than go too far and fuck things up beyond all recognition. The trick was to make sure I didn’t let on that I was having any doubts.Mom appeared in my doorway wearing the slinky lingerie. All other thoughts left my head immediately, and the only.
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