She could have become our daughter.’ Her chest shook with sobs. The barriers every cop has to keep up were crumbling before this final emotional onslaught and with a strangled wail of ‘Oh GOD, WHY?’, she fell completely apart. Few things are more helpless than a strong man who knows he can’t fix a crushing blow to someone he loves. Mike wanted to cry with and for Pat. He wanted to curse the man who had betrayed what Mike considered to be the most important aspect of manhood, the protection of his family, even at the cost of his own life. All he could do was to pull his distraught wife’s head to his chest and hold her as she cried herself out. His eyes were fixed on the small stone angel standing at the headstone, her hands outstretched. He knew who had paid for that angel when he balanced the checkbook recently. It was how he had known where to find Pat. He held her and by that wordlessly let her know how much he loved her. Finally, after her chest stopped heaving and she was silent. Occasionally, I would stroll down to the stage and help one of the dancers “get nude” by donating a few dollars at a time. I concentrated on remembering the details of the bodies of the 20 something year-olds including various tattoos, no body fat, firm buttocks and perky breasts.My drinks went changed from Corona to Grand Marnier and during the next two hours, I would occasionally venture down to the stage from by seat in back of the club. Between trips, I would return to my seat and stick my right hand into my right jean pocket. I would massage my cock recalling the details of the various dancers. This masturbation technique is extremely difficult because I was not able to wrap my hand around my cock and pump it like I wanted too. The best I could do was massage the head between my thumb and forefinger. It was extremely frustrating but extremely satisfying at the same time. I continued my back and forth trips every so often, taking in the sights of the young black girls. .
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