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Mel wore her little black cocktail dress again and looked absolutely gorgeous. We finished a bottle of wine between us and chatted about how great the place was. Over dessert I caught Mel looking at me, like she had done a few times before. ‘What’ I asked, still not quite sure what to make of it. ‘Nothing’ was her reply again. I thought for a while and then said ‘You know you promised to be the perfect girlfriend while were on holiday’ ‘Yes’ she replied obviously not sure where this was going ‘Well you have been that and more……… I’m dreading the end of this holiday because I don’t want to give you up’ I said, hoping she wouldn’t react badly to my confession. Mel looked straight at me. I was worried what she might say. Instead she stood up and ran out of the restaurant. I’m not sure exactly what reaction I had expected but this wasn’t it. I knew I had blown it. I quickly got the bill, signed it to the room and went out towards our villa, hoping that was where she had gone. When I got. There was a young man of high stationWho was found by a pious relationMaking love in a ditchTo I won’t say a bitchBut a woman of no reputation.There once was a dentist named StoneWho saw all his patients alone.In a fit of depravityHe filled the wrong cavity,And my, how his practice has grown!A sailor who slept in the sunWoke to find his fly buttons undone.He remarked with a smile,“Jesus Christ, a sundial!And it’s now a quarter past one.”A plumber whose name was Ten BrinkPlumbed the cook as she bent o’er the sink.Her resistance was stout,And Ten Bring petered outWith his pipe wrench all limber and pink.The spouse of a pretty young thingCame home from the wars in the spring.He was lame but he cameWith his dame like a flameA discharge is a wondeful thing.I wonder what my wife will want tonight;Wonder if the wife will fuss and fight?I wonder can she tellThat I’ve been raising hell;Wonder if she’ll know that I’ve been tight?My wife is just as nice as can be,I hope she doesn’t feel to nice.
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