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" James," insisted Connie, "you mustn't go on beating yourself up about this. She's OK with it. I told you she would be, remember?" You didn't see the look in her eyes," I said. "I don't know if I'll ever forget it. She was scared, really terrified." Yes," agreed Fran. "It must have been awful for her. Rape must be every girl's worst nightmare. The thought of it is bad enough; I can't imagine what the reality would be like. So, Connie, I know you mean well but I don't think you should make light of it because you can't know how she felt unless you've suffered it yourself, can you?" Er —" began Connie, and paused.Alarmed, I gripped her by the arm and looked her straight in the eye. "Connie," I asked gravely, "have you been raped?" I'm not sure," she replied.Fran and I exchanged perplexed looks. "How can you not be sure?" I asked."It's like this," explained Connie. "Back home in Ghana, I suppose I must have been seventeen, I was at college and to earn some money I worked in the evenings. "I thought about you." Debbie said, stopping again. "I thought about how happy you were when you were with Uncle Robert and we were... watching." Debbie took a step toward her mother. "And I knew that you wouldn't do that unless it was something really special and important. And Robby's important to me, so I made him do it to me." You made him?" asked Ramona, impressed that her daughter had been not only willing to tell her what happened, but pretty capable to express her state of mind at the time too. Most kids just got carried away and did things without thinking at all."He didn't want to at first." said Debbie. "He was afraid it would hurt me." And did it?" Ramona was shocked that she'd asked."It did at first. But Mommy, you know what it's like. I could hear it in your voice. And now I understand, because I felt it too. I never felt anything like that before." So you wanted to feel it again today." prompted Ramona."Yes." said her daughter, hanging her head. "Do you hate me.
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