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I thought that was odd but didnt say anything.When she walked in she was all smiles, though and helped me unpack the few things that needed to go in the fridge. She lifted a bottle of Merlot in one hand and a bottle of grape juice in the other. she went to the sink and poured out the juice then filled that bottle with the wine, immediately going outside to dispose of it."Mom doesnt like any alcohol in the house." She gave me a conspiratorial smile. "So we'd better drink it all tonight."She then excused herself and took the box to her room."Hey ... the cable should be back on, too. Watch tv if you like and if you need to make a call back home, go ahead while I freshen up."I then realized that my housekeeper/cook, Thelma, would probably be worried so I called in and told her what had happened. I made up a cock'n'bull about revisiting the dairy farm I was looking at while I was waiting for the Caddy to be repaired and she seemed satisfied. I gave her the motel number as a contact. I. Nothing I could salvage, even with the hardest highest-contrast paper I could find. It was hopeless. I felt like shit. Like failure. Dad wouldn't have approved, I'm sure of that.Just a fuckup. That's what it felt like and that's what it was. So, no, I didn't cry, but I felt like it. I solved it the way I'd solved so many similar things over the years: I cut it out of my life. I told myself it was because I was bored with it, that I hated darkroom work, that I was only doing it because Dad did it and my brother the jerk did it, and I didn't really want to do it, anyway.That wasn't entirely true, though. The fact is that while I was no Ansel Adams, I got some pretty good results. Mostly in portraits, now and then in a landscape. Lee was my primary subject in the early years, no surprise there, and our kids when they came along, alone and in groups, sometimes with grandparents or aunt, absorbed in whatever they were doing. Reading, sometimes, kid in lap. A favorite was one of Julie and.
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