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”He looked around and couldn’t see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, “Pick me up.”He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.The man said, “Are you talking to me?”The frog said, “Yes, I’m talking to you. Pick me up. Then, kiss me and I’ll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I’ll then give you more sexual pleasure that you ever could have dreamed of.”The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.Then the frog said, “What, are you nuts? Didn’t you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will give you sexual pleasures like you have never had.”He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, “Nah, at my age I’d rather have a talking frog.”A group of kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk.“You need to use ‘big people’ words,” she’d. I can feel the room spinning again as I catch my breath, and calm myself. After a few minutes, I go down stairs and grab some food. “Morning,” mom says as she walks by. “Glad to see you are up, was getting worried.” I looked over and saw it was almost 11. “Usually you are up bright and early, what’s got you hitting things late?” She asked. “Sorry mom, just a late night and game too some of it out of me,” I said as I grabbed some OJ from the fridge. “Uh huh, so who is she?” She says as she grabs my chin and tilts my head.My eyes grew wide, “what do you mean?” knowing when I asked what she was talking about. “These hickeys on your neck, who is the girl?” She asked me as she let my chin go. “You did come home late, do we need to have the talk again,” she said giving me the eye. It’s been me and my mom for awhile since dad left, and she has been happier. Working at the law firm, and pretty much the most straight forward parent any kid can ask for. “No mom, that didn’t happen,” I lied and.
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