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‘I didn’t mean to cry on your shoulders, but you’ve been a great friend.’ ‘That’s okay.’ I said. ‘I wish I could help you out more.’ Her eyes smiled back at me before she quickly exited back to the kitchen. I stood there kind of lost, so I decided to leave. I was parked around the back. As I walked to my car, I saw Lynne having a cigarette break. ‘Sorry for just taking off like that, but I didn’t want to start crying in the bar.’ Lynne said as she flipped the butt away. ‘Too many ‘I’m sorries,’ none required.’ I replied. She wrapped her arms around my chest and nuzzled her face into my neck. I ran my hands through her hair and pulled her in tight. I automatically started to nibble on her ear. In return, Lynne started nibbling on my neck. She moved her right hand between us and onto my chest. At first I thought she was going to push away, but then her thumb started playing with my nipple. I took a firm grip of her hair and gently pulled. I looked deep into her emerald eyes then. A man was wandering around a fairground and he happened to see a fortune teller’s tent. Thinking it would be good for a laugh, he went inside and sat down. “Ah…” said the woman as she gazed into her crystal ball. “I see you are the father of two c***dren.” “That’s what you think!” said the man scornfully. “I’m the father of THREE c***dren.” The woman grinned and said, “That’s what YOU think!”151. Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you’ll wish you had a fucking club and a spade.152. On Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn. The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged that she came over and shouted at me, “You should be hung!”I took a drink from my bottle of beer, wiped the cold foam from my lips, lifted my darkened sunglasses and stared directly into the eyes of this nosy ass neighbor and then calmly replied, “I am. That’s why she cuts the.
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