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If she allowed herself to look inward, she could almost see the dried husk of something, a decaying, shriveled, mummified remnant of the woman she once was. She had learned not to be introspective; the horror was too much to bear.She hated this part of herself, this dead thing inside her that her husband demanded she share with him, that the world seemed to celebrate and define her by.Her husband's touches made her shudder, clench her eyes and turn her face away. One of the most frightening things was that she would orgasm, odd little electric convulsive jerks that she could hardly feel. They never involved more than the few square inches of flesh that was her vagina. She did not enjoy them, beyond the happy knowledge that it was over. He would get off of her and she could turn away, taking some solace in the knowledge that she could put him off for another week or perhaps longer.She struggled to convince herself that this was all there was and to resign herself to it. For the last. ”“It makes sense. That way you can be flexible with your schedule.”“I think I’ll see Michelle on Wednesday,” I said. “I’ll rent a car, and change my flight home to the early evening.”Just then, Jorge came in with Ashley and Albert. He had no news about Jessica, so we shook hands and he left. I got the kids lunch, and when we finished, I went to meet Jennifer and Josie to go to Jesse’s last hockey game of the summer. He’d move on to the next level starting in September, and that meant buying him his goalie gear. I’d offered to help cover the cost, but as I’d expected, Jennifer and Josie declined.“Do you get a chance to play goalie today?” I asked as we walked into the rink.“No. I had my turn on Tuesday,” Jesse answered. “But I can be goalie all the time on my next team!”“You like playing goalie instead of trying to score?”“Yes! I get to be on the ice all the time, and it’s fun!”Jesse had a pretty good game, scoring a goal, though his team scored nine and gave up seven.“I have to say.
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