In some ways it's the best of both worlds. You can think ina graveyard and I had some things I wanted to think about without beinginterrupted. Everyone in a graveyard is pretty much totally absorbed inhis or her own thoughts. It's a loner's paradise.Mainly what I wanted to do was remember. I wanted to remember my Dad,because I'd come all the way out here to meet him and instead there wasthis woman called Marcia in his place. It was a little like "Invasion ofthe Bodysnatchers." Except, underneath it all, he was "still" my Dad, wasn't he?He was still the same person I remember fighting with mom, screaming atthe top of his lungs, banging doors, threatening to leave. He might beacting all peaches and cookies and light right now, but I remember himranting and raving, holing himself up for hours in the room downstairsdoing god-only-knows-what in there on the computer. That's what mom usedto call it: "god-only-knows-what." Whatever it was, she didn't make itsound good.He might want to start. That night when Suzanne was out shopping ,i went on the internet on a few porn sites and watched sum videos of guys watching their wives and it turned me on badly ,Most of the videos i found were guys watching their wives with black guys with huge cocks , when i saw a few of these it turned me on so badly knowing their wives were getting ultimate pleasure as i sit and watch in shame , A few days later i finally got the courage and Told Suzanne about my fantasy , she was very shocked at first but the more we spoke about it the more she was up for it , i said i still love you very much and i dont want our sex lives to ruin our relationship , so i am willing to let you be with another man aslong as i am there , i told her about the fantasy of me watching her with a black guy , and she told me she had always fantasised about being with a black guy so we agreed on it .A few weeks later we both looked on the internet , in a few differant chat rooms and we met a black guy who only lived.
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