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No good bye, she just left me all alone. For that whole day after she left and that night my emotions ran the gamut from hurt to sadness to depression and finally to anger. I was angry with everything and everyone, especially God. How could a benevolent, loving God allow this to happen to me, to us?I met Alyssa for the first time the day after Susan left; it was love at first sight. She took my hand and I looked into her bright blue eyes and I was hers from that moment on. That meeting destroyed my depression, eased my hurt, and in large part erased my anger. Only the sadness remained but it was a shadow of what it had been; with Alyssa front and center I had no time to be sad.For close to twenty years, we spent almost every day and night together. The evenings that she went out with friends were hard on me. I would pace back and forth like a lion in a cage until she came home. As I heard her at the front door I would sit in my big overstuffed chair and pretend I was interested in. Her words had the desired effect and Antonio cracked a weak smile.“I seem to remember that Richard didn’t have an easy time either. How do you manage to have that harmony now, Ellen?”“We talk about everything; what we do, what we see, whom we meet. Most importantly, we tell each other what we feel. It takes courage to offer your innermost feelings to the other. Doing this we have avoided misunderstandings. These days it doesn’t take courage anymore because we trust each other unconditionally.”Antonio nodded. “Perhaps this is what went wrong with Eleanor and I. We never spoke our mind for fear of hurting the other.”Ellen touched his arm in a friendly gesture.“Let me work on it. I’ll try my best to give you and Eleanor a second chance.”“You give me hope, Ellen.”“Give my regards to your mother,” Ellen smiled, hugging Antonio once more.As a result of her conversation with Antonio, Ellen stepped up her efforts to ignore Eleanor. This in spite of the fact that she could observe cracks in.
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