"I didn't like the idea of being in 'private' with him, so I stopped here and made him call the manager." I left out the threatening behaviour, though I stared at the guard to make sure that he understood this might only be a temporary state of affairs. "When this bloke came," I pointed at the manager this time, "he tried to search me and I was refusing to let him and then you came." I wound down, suddenly I felt very tired.The Manager and the policeman turned to stare at the guard, who shifted uncomfortably at this scrutiny. The policeman spoke first, "Is this true? Did you speak to him and stop him from leaving the shop?" Yeah. But he was gonna leave, why else would he walk to the door? Why should I have to chase him all the way down the High Street?" Because, you lazy moron, if he hasn't left the shop, he hasn't stolen anything yet!" The manager almost shouted at the man. He turned away in disgust and opened the door jerking his head at the hapless guard who shambled, reluctantly,. I then said, “Hamid,” and he looked at me. I tapped my chest. “Ab.” Then I pointed at Marilyn and said, “Um.” Finally, I laid my hand on his shoulder. “ Ibn.”Hamid’s eye opened wide at this, and he looked wildly at me and Marilyn. To her he said, “Ibn? Um?”Marilyn was crying again, but she answered, “Yes, Hamid, yes!” and hugged him.He looked at me and asked, “Ibn? Ab?”I nodded and put an arm around his shoulder. “Ibn, ab.” That just about used up my extremely limited Arabic. Now all I needed to do was to teach him English, formally adopt a Syrian refugee in Kurdistan, get him an American passport, and move home again, with Hillary Clinton on the warpath and looking for my head. Piece of cake!On a somewhat more amusing note, this ended any chance for a romantic reunion frolic with my wife. That was more a dream these days than reality. While I didn’t need Viagra yet, I was reminded of the old joke - Once a king, always a king, but once a knight is enough. At fifty-eight, once a night.
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