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I had not bargained for our first date being the next day, doing Christmas shopping in the city and returning library books, followed by tea and crumpets back at her flat. It was good enough for me: I was dating a girl, and a pretty one at that. I didn’t care what we did, as long as we did it together. There were other things I’d have liked to do together, but it was early days. Little did I know how far away those ‘things’ would be. Over the meal it transpired that she was going home for Christmas the following Wednesday. She lived near Chester, about forty miles away, so of course I volunteered to drive her, and of course, after some rather contrived reluctance out of concern for my inconvenience, she accepted. To seal the deal we went to a folk club in a city centre pub, the Shakespeare (across a narrow street from Lewis’s Department Store) on the Monday night, and we kissed our first chaste lip-kiss when I dropped her off afterwards, gently refusing her offer of coffee, since I. The Lord God sat down with Adam to explain the situation to him. And God said to Adam, Look, Adam, what we have here is a primo piece of real estate. I figure the property value will skyrocket within the next couple of years, and if the time should come when you need to sell, I will explain to you about Century 21 agents. Things are real quiet and peaceful around here because I haven't created any neighbors for you yet.But Adam, not fully understanding his body, had several questions to ask of God. And Adam said, Yo God, what's this thing that's hanging between my legs? Huh, huh? Hey Man, talk to me. What's the deal?And God thought to himself, This is ridiculous: my Belch must have ruined this guy's brains. Oh well, at least most of my other creations turned out well.And God said to Adam, Shut up asshole and heed my first Commandment. Thou shalt not let thy little head do the thinking for thy big head. I shall explain later about your schlong. Now listen to me, so I may explain your.
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