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“Forget it, buddy”, the bartender smiled, “she’s turned down two already.” I asked him to try anyway. I watched as he took the wine to her and then nodded in my direction. She smiled at me again, and then began to push the drink back towards the bartender… but just before he cleared it, she put her hand on his and stopped him. She took the glass of pinot noir and slid off her stool. Unabashedly, she walked right over to me. Several of the men at the bar, no doubt the two who had been spurned among them, watched in fascination as she moved like sensual fluid right up to me. She held the glass aloft as is to toast, then looked right into my eyes and said, “Make me smile, and I’ll drink with you. Make me laugh out loud and I’ll have dinner with you.” The bartender and a few of the men overheard this, and the area around the bar got very quiet, waiting to hear what I would say. Now, I make people laugh for a living, but I had never been put on the spot like this. “Be Funny”,. This was not very satisfying.I could not get the cuccomber to stay up with all the oil on it and it also did not feellike the real thing. I then remembered several sex shops on South st not far from my house.I got dressed and jumped onto my bike a rode over.The first store I think catered to women;they only had the mechanical vibratorsand they were not to big either. it makes me laugh now because even back then I was a size queen but I did not even know it what a "size queen was"I went over to the next store which is actually off the main street. Can't really name the store so I dont get into trouble. I was really self conscious abut being in the store; thelady behind the counter was talking to another girl but both seemed to be lesbians so theydid not pay much attention to me. Now i hit the jackpot with this store. they must have had 20 differnet types of dildos. I tried to gauge the size with m hand. I wanted a cockwhich was at least the size of my own. Then I practically jumped.
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