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We hung out because we lived on the same block. There was never any “reaching out.” All of us were just “there.”That comfortable reality ended sometime in my thirteenth year. It was called adolescence. Suddenly I was on one side of the room and the objects of my desire were on the other. There was nothing but games and one-upmanship in between.My target would be in a herd of giggling girls and I would have to go over and lay it on the line. I wasn’t bad looking. I normally got what I wanted. But once-in-a-while a little bitch would decide to score points with her gaggle. The walk back to the dugout after THAT strike-out was excruciating, especially if I heard tittering behind me.Some of my pals would step right back up to the plate. But most of us weren’t that secure. Rejection wounded our manly pride. So, we’d sit in a pack and sulk. If it was a tradeoff between feeling shitty because we might get shot down, versus feeling shitty because the only sex you got was from your hand; the. Turning to me, he saw me as anattractive, middle aged woman. Someone who wouldn't humiliated him. Itwas probably for the best that he couldn't see my true form."Lots of guys take joke pictures like that," I continued. "Here, look atthis."I brought up a magazine cover on a computer screen. It was a swimsuitissue. The body was a busty girl in a bikini, the face was of a hairy,college-age man.The boy seemed relieved, he believed I didn't know what he'd really beenthinking."Yeah, funny joke," he squeaked. "That's why I was looking at those girlmagazines. As a joke." What's your name?" I asked."Kevin."Up close, I could see why Kevin was such an obvious target for thebullies. Not an ounce of muscle, not an inch of jaw. Just big, beautifuleyes, scraggly brown hair, and a face that was ready to take a punch.'This isn't a joke to you,' I thought to myself. 'You know you make apoor male. More and more often, you wonder if you'd make a better girl.'Out loud, I said "Well, Kevin, would you like.
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