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..furiously...uncontrollably....I felt as though Iwere going to melt. And then he'd continue with the conversation and withina minute or two I'd compose myself.Looking back, I guess I was falling under his control even then.We'd discussed virtually everything in the past, there were no taboos. Allof the (to my mind) shocking, embarrassing fantasies that I harboured,fantasies I'd tried to repress but that just never went away...we talkedabout them all, with no judgement, no lecherous comments, just acceptanceand understanding. I understood now, with Richards guidance, that thesedesires were actually not that uncommon, that I shouldnt beat myself upover having them and also that they would never, ever go away. Like manysubmissives, bondage and restraint were highly charged subjects for me andI'd confided in Richard that it was something I fantasised over. Thefeeling of helplessness...I dont know why but the very idea of it made mefeel faint. Richard was gently talking me through the. 'Bravo Six Four. En route to incident. Over''Bravo Six Zero Alpha, Roger. Send sitrep when at location. Over.''Bravo Six Four, Roger. Out.'It wasn't Big Ben's call-sign, nor his voice on the radio; he wouldn't have bothered to state the obvious, that I should report the situation when I got to Little Bugs, as he knew it would be the first thing I would do. It must be Sergeant Claypole operating the communications, which meant that Big Ben would be following up in the APC – thank fuck for that.Neddy Claypole was a disaster waiting to happen, and I knew several members of the platoon who would cheerfully shoot him the first time we went into action, as he would be more danger to us than any enemy.I had to keep a sharp look out as we sped up the road. It could be that the Serbs had decided to lure us out and ambush us, and I swivelled the searchlight on the front of the vehicle, sending light lancing into the sides and onto the road ahead. About 200 metres from Little Bugs I pulled the.
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