You never smile or laugh or cry and when your so-called parents walk out you know it's your fault. From the start you can't understand the games boys play... you do them anyway. When your seventeen you walk away from a scholarship and join the Air Force, hiding in plain sight. You try sex with men and sex with women and you still feel nothing so you close down even more. You don't much care if you're hurt as long as whomever attacks is worse off; people notice. And then you reach your goal ... War. It's about time, you think; now you can die and still be a man. What a lie you tell your self.Then the fun starts...Walking through the jungle doing the things the Powers That Be want done doesn't bother you. Sleeping in rain, sweat and fear doesn't either; you've done that all your life. Then comes the sweet sound of Dustoff and your life changes forever. You watch detached as the bird gets shot to shit and you're firing and firing and then your bleeding and screaming. Your team gets you. I am sure she didn’t envision that I would enjoy the entire episode. Never saw the old guy again. Shortly thereafter moved to D.C. I now had a known outlet for sex, but didn’t know how to go about finding someone with whom to share this knowledge. Then a psyche report came across my desk. In it were described the exploits of a homosexual being prosecuted for another crime. The report went into great detail and read more like pornography than an evaluation, a sign that the author had some prurient interest. Reading the report I found that he had used the hitchhiker routine. It seems a young single male is picked up late at night for only one reason, sex. After a couple of beers that evening I went out to one of the main highways in DC to try my luck. It was a weeknight and few cars at 11 PM. Then one sedan passed me, circled the block and came back. The driver rolled down the window, there was some inane conversation, which basically boiled down to do you wanna suck. I got.
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