We knew the type; she was probably more than the average male could handle. She had finally made up her mind to take a chance and go on line with a dating service, but she didn’t have any decent photos of herself to upload.“No problem,” chimed in Joan. “Derek does this all the time for our friends. Derek, why don’t you take some pictures of Roseanne right now?”I was more than happy to oblige as Roseanne stood up, pulling on her blouse and shorts. Joan dove into her beach bag and retrieved her small make up kit and hairbrush, and soon had Roseanne looking glamorous. With fresh lipstick and her hair neatly coifed, she proved herself to be a very capable model, taking direction extremely well and also coming up with imaginative ideas of her own. It must have made an unusual sight; two naked people primping and posing a dressed person. Usually, I thought, it was the other way around, with the model nude and the photographer dressed!Soon we had an ample supply of head shots, head and. Even on the sets of those big-budget films ‘the Muhurat shot (the first shot every filming day begins with)’ used to be the shot the producers used to shoot inside my asshole. They used to film that with actual cameras.Truth be told actors and directors are naïve puppets. It is the producers I had to please a lot. I never had to have sex with any of the actors, even though they were popular. I remember this one romantic scene I did in a film. That was the time I actually had sex in front of the camera and hundreds of crew members around.But the person I had sex with was the film’s producer. It was only later that the filmmakers digitally replaced the producer’s face with the actors.Let me conclude by saying that the awards aren’t any different affair. Sure they give awards for ‘best film’ ‘best actress’ ‘best actor’. But truth be told, the categories aren’t what you see on TV. To decide the winner all the judges get inside a room.If I want to win the award, I must have sex with each.
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