The men had been too long without the forced marches we had been accustomed to in Spain, and found it a great difficulty to march through the mud and floods. Consequently we had numbers of men who fell out exhausted, or who just took advantage of the looser discipline under these conditions, and went foraging and looting.I was put in charge of the rear-guard, and was told to keep the stragglers marching, by hook or by crook. I recalled a stratagem I saw the King’s German Legion (KGL) use in Spain. Anyone who fell out from the column was stripped of their uniform, boots and weapon, and was left to freeze or starve to death. I employed the same procedure, and it was amazing how men who swore they were on the brink of death could suddenly find strength to fall in and march with the column. The men of my company called these suddenly reinvigorated men “Lazaruses”.By the middle of March we had reached the village of Hatfield, on the Great North Road. Grantham was only a five day march up. The cancer did NOT kill me! My asshole of a husband did not kill me, and you won’t kill me ever.’ ‘Good, that’s the spirit, hold on to that and lead me into your bedroom. We have one more thing to do before we throw this lot away’ In the bedroom, he found the floor to ceiling mirror, attached to the cupboard door, covered in newspaper. He turned her towards the mirror and stood behind her and said, ‘I want you to rip the paper off the mirror.’ He watched her slowly clench and unclench her fists and walk to the mirror. With shaking hands she reached out. Grabbed the paper, and ripped it off. ‘Now come back here, and stand in front of me.’ He watched her drop the paper, turn and head back to him. As she stood in front of him, she said ‘Now what?’ ‘I want you to get undressed, and look at yourself.’ ‘No, I can’t. I haven’t looked at myself in four years, and no one has seen me in five years.’ ‘I can get the razors and drugs: they’re in the bathroom.’ ‘Fuck you, I hate you!’ She.
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