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I don’t know what inspired me, but suddenly I wanted to have the same thing that Melody and Lissa had. I looked into Wendy’s eyes. “Let’s...” I rephrased quickly. “Do you want... ?” Still wasn’t right. “Wendy, will you—” She silenced me—not with a finger, but clamping her whole hand across my mouth with a look of panic in her eyes.“Tony! Don’t ... Ever ... Ask me that question! Don’t ever!”“But...”“If I gave you the answer you want, you’d always wonder if it was what I wanted or if I felt I had to. And I would wonder, too. If I said ‘no,’ I would have to leave. I couldn’t stay. Please don’t ever ask, Tony. I’m yours, but you aren’t my husband. You are my master.”“I want you to be part of our family forever,” I said softly. “I don’t want to lose you like Kate.”“I am part of our family. I will be forever,” she said kissing me. “And so is Kate. You’ll see.”We walked hand-in-hand with the rest of the wedding guests and watched the fireworks.“Makes you wonder what kind of fireworks are. I knew that with Julie at home waiting for me, it would be impossible to look her in the eye if I was screwing around behind her back like so many of my married buddies that I had complete respect for due to their hypocritical lifestyle. I had fallen away from religion from the time that I first entered the military and thought that church-going folks were all like robots going to church every Sunday like clockwork. The simple truth was that I missed all that pomp and circumstance of the incense and the candles lit under the statues of one’s favorite Saint.I knew now that we would be going to church every Sunday just like normal people and I would be confessing my sins instead of trying to push them out of my mind and pretending it never happened.As my secretary, Julie knew most of my sexual transgressions and I knew she would forgive me for them with the possible exception of eighteen year old Eva with her killer body and that look on her face when she was feeling that she just had.
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