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I couldn't figure out what he was up to. Or where this idea came from. I'm not going to lie; the idea of living out my fantasies got my blood racing, but I didn't know if I wanted to do it with Eric. Not to say that I would ever cheat on him, but I figured, by that point, I had gone my entire life without it, and what was five more years? After the first few months of our marriage, I knew there was no way I was staying with him forever. I mean we were just way too different. He was a Conservative, and I was a Liberal (or an NDPer when I was feeling particularly Communist). He liked documentaries, I liked things that blew up. He liked Chinese opera and I so didn't. He lived to work, I worked to live. And he only liked plain, boring, missionary sex. Or so I thought. He was making an effort. I got that. But I still didn't know if that's what I wanted from him. I went to sleep that night thinking about ways to let him down and still make it through this marriage. The next morning dawned. As the head lights grow closer my voice rises in a scream. Not a scream of fear but rage. I push the lights from my mind and I can make out a face. My mother’s face looked back at me from behind the windshield. She seems haunted and pale, she looks at me with a mix of fear and sorrow. I feel and hand on my chest and my eyes fly open. I am in danger a figure looms over me and I react. My hand shoots for my attacker’s throat, but half way through I recognize Nicole and I force my hand to the left and miss her. ‘Hey, it’s me. Are you alright.’ Her voice is dripping with genuine concern. ‘Yeah, I’m alright. I am sorry about that.’ I said looking into her eyes. ‘Don’t be. Do you want to talk about it?’ ‘No.’ I said. I sat up and pulled my shirt back on and slipped into my shoes. ‘What are you doing?’ she asked ‘I am going outside to do my workout.’ ‘Do you have any idea what time it is.’ She asked ‘It’s four a.m.’ ‘How did you know that? There are no clocks in here.’ ‘It’s always.
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