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That means I miss out on living with Nana this time around which I’m sad about.I’ve had Bec Junior on the wall here to keep me company but it’s not the same. Bec Junior is all about dolls and hiding. I’ve changed so much since then. I don’t want to hide nearly so much and I’ve moved on from dolls so she and I don’t have all that much to talk about.The angry cat has had more to say. It didn’t let me get away with anything. It wanted me to deal with my anger. I think Alice has helped me with that. The angry cat is gone now. I gave her to Alice. Alice likes the picture. She says it reminds her of herself when she gets angry.Alice hasn’t been the best room-mate but I guess she hasn’t been too bad. We had a couple of shouting matches. They were strangely therapeutic. I didn’t know how much I needed to yell at someone. It became almost like a game for the two of us. The nurses were upset by the bad language but Dr K. just told us to make sure the door was shut so we wouldn’t upset the. They were the couple, and I was the outsider looking in on their love.Part of me wanted to run in there and hurt both of them. To claw and kick and punch until my fury was spent. To dig my nails into that bitches face until she wasn’t so pretty and my husband would no longer want her. But I didn’t. I just sat and sobbed quietly to myself.My sobbing must have been louder than I thought because the next thing I was aware of was someone touching my face, brushing my tear-stained hair back from my eyes. I opened my eyes to see Neil kneeling by my collapsed body, a worried look on his face as our eyes locked together.“Honey, how long have you been there?”“Long enough. I heard.”“I’m so sorry, darling. I didn’t want you to hear it like that. I was going to tell you properly when we next talked.”A long silence, as Neil waited for me to say something.“You should have told me, Neil. Like I told you about Jason. Not like that. Not hearing it like that, the two of you discussing my feelings.
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