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" I am calm," I said. "I need some time to be me, not who you want me tobe!" OK, OK," she said, sounding hurt. "Go hook up. Have a gang bang.Whatever. I don't know what I did, but I apologize." Look," I said, impatiently. "I'd like to get going." So go," she said. "I'd like to know what's gotten into you, but youclearly are 'on the rag' today, so I won't bother." What the hell does THAT mean? I'm a guy, you know, despite what youthink."Now Lisa got angry. "Look BRIAN," she spat. "I know what you are and Ithought I knew who you are. I don't know what the hell has or hasn'tcrawled up your ass, but tell you what. When you get off whatever thefuck you're on and want to act like a human being, forget my friend butjust a human being, you call me," she said, walking out of the room."Good," I thought. "My night's free." I went to the Boy's Room thatnight. I tried to play predator, and hit on everyone I saw who was evenremotely attractive. You know you're in trouble when you can't get laidat a. She already loves him to bits and can take him anywhere with her and show him lots of affection and a, “Thank you for making me come last night” kiss and cuddle in public, without a twitch of a net curtain or a raised eyebrow. Yet he’s still your best friend too!Unlike inviting your human best friend to perform hesitant Cunnylingus on your wife, your dog’s long supple tongue will almost reach her cervix and lick bits she didn’t know she had if she opens her legs wide enough. I’ve known many females who almost shrieked as they shuddered into an orgasm on the end of a dog’s long tongue, usually rubbing frantically at their clit with their fingers as they did it.I found it surprisingly easy to get respectable women to dip their toes in this muddy water in the first place. I can honestly say I have never coerced or badgered any woman to do it, nor have I ever really needed to. I’ve never found it at all hard to recruit any female I’ve first had sex with regularly to be my willing partner.
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