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”Later, as he counted the money he found 2O five dollar bills, and a two dollar bill with a note that read “Forever hold your peace, I’ll have that other three dollars before sundown.”I once found a throw rug in a catch basin.I bought a dog the other day ... I named him Stay. It’s fun to call him...”Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!” He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.-- Steven WrightWhen will all the rhetorical questions end?We have mileage, yardage and footage. Why don’t we have inchage?Bumper Sticker:If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.The other day, I was walking my dog around my building ... on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.-- Steven WrightStudies show that 100% of those who advocate abortion are people who already have been born.What’s dumb? Directions on toilet paper.What’s dumber than that? Reading them.Even dumber? Reading them and learning something.Dumbest of all? Reading them and having to. Afterliberally lubing my sissypussy I had two disposable diapers taped on meand the rubber bloomers pulled on me and as I stood Jerry then pulledthe rubber straps tight and snapped them. Jerry then placed a penisshaped pacifier in my mouth and buckled the straps behind my head. Inoticed a hole in the gag and wondered its use as jerry placed a lockingbelt around me then attached my wrist cuffs to it then escorted me tothe larger house only stopping to pick up several straps on the way. AsI was led inside Jerry was told to take me to the quiet room by Pennywhile she served the residents. Once inside the quiet room Jerryproceeded to tell me to lie down on the bed and fastened my wrists andfeet into hospital restraints.After Jerry strapped I down Penny walked in carrying a 64oz bag she saidwas full of Insure diet supplement with a hose attached that sheconnected to the penis gag. Starting the flow she told me that thiswould help keep me wet and they would see me after dinner then.
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