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It disgusts me, but I ambeginning to like it, against all my instincts and morality. My hands areclasped obediently behind my back, so controlled already, it has taken such ashort time for him to stop me being naughty. "I'mgoing to turn you into raging queen; cross-dressing, medical procedures, theworks. And you're going to want it, because of personality-processing, orcharacter-modification, whatever you want to call it. You're going to become oneof those ugly, unsexual 'things' that disgust most people, and attract derisionfrom others. I'm doing this to you as a joke, at most as an experiment."The urgeto run hits me again, to flee back to my family. But I know that I must bestrong. I must not run away from myself any more. I must be true to my stationand status and ambition. I hold still, trembling, dust motes awakened by themovement of the large wooden construction dancing together in the slanting raysof late afternoon sunlight which slant from the window. "Lasttime you came here,. At first I didn't really grasp everything about it but as the nurses and doctors gradually filled me in my future life darkness descended. I had recently divorced my wife (because of my sexual inadequacy) and was now alone in the world, I seriously contemplated ending it all day and then (which is a joke people with spinal injury really can't do much).About a week later the door of my room flew open and there stood my best friend Robert who I've known since I was 11 years old. "There you are, you have finally woken up you lazy bastard" he laughed. I couldn't help but laugh myself, as we both knew I was totally screwed.The nurses cleared the room and Robert in what I learned was an arranged meeting started to talk me through how my future might look. As he started to talk the penny dropped, it was he who had kissed me when I was semiconscious. My heart fluttered a little bit. Secretly I had always fancied Robert and I had battled with my sexuality through my recently failed marriage..
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